Let the record show that at least I got to the last episode of the show I have to analyse before my notes devolved from painstaking transcriptions and copious notes into
“B: COOLIO.
C: FINE, PEACE OUT BITCH.”
I am basically the king of dating advice
- Juli: Is there an accepted amount of time you're supposed to wait before texting someone after kind of a really awesome date? HOW DO THESE THINGS WORK?
- Me: DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. THERE ARE NO RULES, JACKASS.
- Juli:
- Juli: I think that's a lie but I'm gonna fuckin go with it
- Me: It's the twenty first goddamn century. You want to text him? You text him. HEY I REALLY LIKED THAT THING YOU DID WITH YOUR TONGUE, that is a good place to start
I am a sad nerd.
I keep seeing all these posts about 50 Shades of Grey and I think, “Gasp! People are finally reading Jasper Fforde! He’s finally going to get the recognition he deserves! I’M GOING TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS BOOK!!” But then I realize that his book is just Shades of Grey and I cry a little on the inside.
THIS. I feel your pain.
main reasons I don’t want to be an actor
1. don’t ever want to have to nude up on camera.
2. don’t ever want to have to convincingly interact with a baby.
3. and, you know, I never wanted to be an actor.
4. but mainly the first two.
Why is he so creepy, OH MY GOD HIS EYES ARE STARING INTO MY SOUL. WHY. STOP SHOWING THEM. STOP IT. NO!
The last thirty seconds or so of Harper’s Island is legitimately the most terrified I’ve ever been. Those are some really fucking impressive crazy eyes.
Inspiration
1885: Robert Louis Stevenson dreams about a doctor with split personality and writes the entirety of the first draft of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in ten days.
2012: After waking from a dream in which my laptop was infected with a virus that prevented me from running Safe Mode, I don’t even bother running Spybot.
So it turns out that “I tuned the pink guitar last night” sounds a LOT like a euphemism.
Remind me to never crawl into a series of subterranean passages in search of a serial killer.
Oh wait, never mind, I’m a sane person.
seriously, these people are the worst at communicating
MAYBE YOU SHOULD KEEP TABS ON YOUR CREEPY LITTLE GIRL CHILD IF YOU DON’T WANT HER BEING LURED OFF BY A GHOST NINJA.
